What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
