Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
