I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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