1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
