...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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