new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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