gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize