if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
