I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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