we're blogging at a bar
Don't you send me to vm
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize