Dual....:-)
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My vagina is officially offended.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
