yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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