He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
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Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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