Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
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I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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