So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
