If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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