I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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