that's an acceptable place to lick
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
