just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
