i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
