Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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