every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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