Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
