Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
