You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
