This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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