Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
