Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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