My friends, they love my intelligence
She's JV to your varsity
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
