There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
