The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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