Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
