oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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