things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
