I feel great
I just peed on a car
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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