I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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