Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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