im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
