no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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