i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
