Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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