I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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