so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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