Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
