She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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