your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish i was in the wii world.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
