before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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