My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
