its not stalking. its research.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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