I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
