well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
