His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We are two peas in an std pod
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
