Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
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Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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