no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
