I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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