What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
