my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize