we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
